The Heart's Dilemma
by Torry-Riddle
Summary: Adopted by me from EJ 12212012! When Victoria attacks with her newborn army Edward Believes Bella to be dead. So what happens when she wakes and has to live her life without him?
1. Prologue

_Authors Note: No matter how many time I wish upon a star: Jasper will never ever belong to me *sob* _

_Twilight belongs to Stephanie Myer not me _

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Prologue ~ The Angel's Voice_.

**Bella's POV**

"FIND HER!" a beautiful voice screamed. "Oh my God! FIND HER EMMETT!" I was beginning to see points of light from behind my eyelids. I couldn't feel my body, maybe it was the reason they were calling my name so desperately.

"She isn't here Edward," another voice said. "Even if we do find her, what will you do about it?"

"I… I… I don't know. I just, I just have to find her!" the melodic voice replied desperately. The voice… he was in so much pain. I didn't want to hear him in pain. I tried to make a sound, and it came out as a sigh.

"Emmett? Did you hear that Emmett?" the angel asked. "Bella? Where are you? Can you make another noise for us?" I tried, but couldn't even take a breath. I was loosing myself to the blackness. I was slipping; everything was so comforting right now, other than the voice. I struggled to stay awake. I wanted to let the angel know I was ok it didn't hurt anymore.

"Edward! I found her Edward!" said a voice as I faded further into unconsciousness.

"Bella? Bella! NO BELLA! Oh no, don't die on me Bella. Please don't die on me! No, no, no Bella…" and the angel's voice faded until it was no more.

_AN. Alright so you might recognize this chapter…duh…Well this one to the 9th is pretty much the same as EJ 12212012's chapters, I just added some thing in to make it more my own. Chapter 10 on will be all mine!_


	2. Where Are They?

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 1 ~ Where Are They?_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

**Volturi**

Aro eyed Edward as he stood in the room. This was the second time he had come to them. Twice and all because of a human girl. There were other options to him, this Aro knew but still he asked to die. Why couldn't he see that he would be so much better off being in the guard? He would never be able to understand the golden-eyed ones. Tucking his hands under his chin, he nodded to Felix. Edward was lead from the room sobbing as Aro looked on, his brother's, and faithful companions watching. Something had to be done.

**Bella's POV**

The light in the room was unnaturally bright, even with my eyes closed I could tell and there was an obnoxious beeping sound coming from somewhere. Death really shouldn't be this annoying. Taking a deep breathe I prepared myself and opened my eyes slowly allowing my eyes to adjust. I wasn't dead. I was laying in a hospital bed. The curtains covering the window were pulled back, and there was a machine connected to me making the beeping sounds. In the corner of the room, Esme was sitting in a chair reading a magazine. Something so out of place I couldn't help myself,

"Esme?" My voice cracked, as I spoke. Clearly, I had been out for a while. It was never a good thing when I woke up in the hospital. Obviously, Carlise couldn't put me back together anywhere else. Esme looked up and sighed in relief. She ran over to the side of my bed and gave me a hug.

"Oh Bella! Everyone will be so glad you're awake. I'll go and get them." She turned and walked out of the room. Thirty seconds later, the door opened and seven people walked through the door. For just waking up it was hard to focus on who walked in right away.

"Oh Bella!" Renee said, coming in first and kneeling beside my bed. "I thought I'd lost you." Charlie came up next, standing behind Renee.

"We all did." he said putting his hand on her shoulder. Renee looked up at him and smiled lovingly. '_How long had I been out? My parents were divorced, my mom was with Phil but I guess your child nearly dying brought you together'_ Carlisle came up next, putting his hand on my forehead. He then walked over to the machines on the other side of my bed, and began to do his doctor stuff. I smiled to myself and turned over to look at the others, ready to try to focus now. That's was when it hit me. Only five vampires were present.

Emmet? Check. Rosalie? Check. Esme? Check. Carlisle? Duh check, Jasper? Check, '_Where was Edward? Where was Alice?'_ I think Jasper felt my confusion and panic and a wave of false calm spread through me. It was just enough for me to ask the question I was dreading.

"Esme? Where are the others? Where are Edward and Alice?" Everyone just stared at me with sad eyes. Renee was the one that spoke first, they didn't want to tell me it seems."

"You don't need to know yet. The important thing is that you are alive and well." I shook my head wanting to know.

"Where are they?" I asked again, as my panic starting to break through, despite Jasper's best efforts, it was plain on anyone watching him he was beginning to struggle to keep it just on me and not on everyone else.

"Honey…" Esme said slowly, her voice breaking. "Edward and Alice aren't coming back."

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly, not letting myself think the worst, I couldn't. I had nearly lost Edward once but he had come back to me. He always came back to me. Always.

"They died in a car accident." Charlie said worry creasing his face. Clearly he was unable to get the case out of his mind nor did he want to have me think about it all the time as he was.

"Impossible." I whispered. What had really happened? How had they really… I couldn't bring myself to think it. They couldn't be dead. The love of my life had to be out there somewhere, and he was with my best friend. Edward and Alice couldn't be dead!

"Carlisle?" I asked turning to him. "Tell me this isn't true."

"Bella, I…" He closed his eyes and turned to everyone else. "I think Bella needs some rest." Everyone silently turned and walked out of the door. Jasper paused and turned around. Our eyes met, and I saw the sorrow deep within his eyes. It was true. Alice and Edward weren't coming back. I began to sob, and I heard the faint click of the door closing.

"How?" I asked through my tears, that alone being a struggle.

"Edward believed you were dead. He went to Italy and the Volturi." Carlisle replied, obviously tortured inside. "When we found out that you were going to live, Alice went after him. She was too late though, and the Volturi killed them both." My chest exploded with that same pain I had experienced during my 'dark months'. I was going back into the dark abyss, only this time I was falling deeper. I would never make it out again, because this time Edward didn't exist. Last time I had had that one thing to hold onto. He had been alive out there somewhere, and that had been enough to keep me going. This time, there was nothing to hold onto. I felt the numbness coming back, and I welcomed it. My tears slowed, my breathing evened out, and I drifted off to my salvation. Sleep.


	3. Permission

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 2 ~ Permission_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Jasper's POV

Alice wasn't coming back. It tore at me I couldn't stand this pain. It was as if my whole being was exploding over and over again. No one could stand to be around me. I would try my best to contain my feelings, but they kept getting out of hand. Carlisle and Bella were the only ones who would still let me hang around them. Bella wasn't feeling any emotions anyway and she wasn't talking, so she didn't really object to my presence (go figure), Carlisle just said that he believed I needed someone to talk to. I was glad I at least had Carlisle and Bella. Carlisle was taking the loss hard, but he was trying to be strong for Bella and me. He felt responsible for Bella's recovery, in a way I understood. Esme was in a deep depression, much like me, she had lost two of her children. Rosalie was bothered by both deaths, but mostly for her sister's, Edward and her, had always been at each other's throats, and it made sense for her to mourn the loss of her sister more. Emmett was heartbroken on the inside, but was trying his best to be strong for Rose, after all, she came before himself, Rose had his so whipped. Bella wasn't taking it well… at all.

Even when Bella would wake up, she wouldn't do anything. She wouldn't talk, she wouldn't move, and she wouldn't eat. She was a breathing shell. There were no emotions in her. She would blink occasionally, and she would look over when someone entered the room. That was all though. I had been trying to get her to at least drink water, but she was so stubborn! She hadn't taken a sip in three days.

"Carlisle?" I whispered to him just outside of Bella's room door. "She has hardly drunk anything and she won't eat. I can tell she is loosing too much weight. We need to do something."

"I know Jasper, but I cannot think of anything. Charlie and Renee have given up, and I'm getting close to doing the same." Carlisle said, ashamed.

"You can't! There has to be something we can do." I said desperately. "None of us will be able to take a third lose." Carlisle's face twisted into an expression of deep pain. I felt the prick of his hurt and grimaced, it was nothing like my own but it was still there.

"I know Jasper, but I am out of ideas. Her body is beyond being helped. It's been too long since she has eaten or drank anything."

"What are we going to do when we loose Bella too?" I asked, while trying to keep the pain that thought gave me out of my mind, she was my last tie all of yours to the happy times with Edward and Alice. I wasn't going to loose her too. Carlisle didn't reply. He just stared at the floor with a franticly helpless expression. Then, all of a sudden, hope sprang into his eyes and erupted from him in all directions.

"There is one thing we can do." He said looking up at me. "Jasper, I'm going to need your help getting Bella to talk." With that he opened Bella's door and walked over to her, without giving me time to respond. He sat on the edge of her bed by her head, and he beckoned with his hand for me to join him. I walked over slowly, wondering what could have improved his mood so quickly.

"Bella?" He asked, putting his hand on her forehead. "Bella, Jasper and I need to talk to you." Bella just continued to stare at the wall. I knew I had to help, but what was I going to do? Carlisle had said he wanted me to get her to talk to us. That was when an idea hit me. I would make her feel curious. I concentrated on the feeling and shot it out at her. It didn't work, so I closed my eyes and used everything I had in me.

A second later she looked up, a look of subtle question on her face.

Bella's POV

Victoria had gotten what she wanted… a mate for a mate. She probably didn't even know Edward was dead. Who knows, maybe she wouldn't be happy with his death. She had wanted me dead, not Edward. Maybe she would come after me still. The thought gave me the smallest bit of hope, but not enough to register to Jasper, as he and Carlisle stepped into the room.

When Victoria had come with her newborn vampire army, Edward had fought to protect me. It wasn't enough though. She had brought one of the newborns with her. The newborn had been too much for Seth, and he had had to run. Edward couldn't kill the newborn and Victoria and protect me at the same time. He had made an opening for Victoria when the newborn had leaped at him. Victoria had only needed that small weakness in Edward's defenses. She had attacked me then. She had lifted me into the air and thrown me deep into the trees. I had hit my head hard on one of the trees and fallen to the ground. I had laid there for a long time before I had heard Edward and Emmett looking for me.

Dealing with Edward's death was hard enough. It was unbearable to know that Alice was gone too. The reason for my existence AND my best friend were both gone. It was times like this when I was grateful for the numbness, times when my thoughts got the best of me.

"Bella?" I heard Carlisle ask. His voice was like an echo… a faint reverberating sound that seemed distant and detached. "Bella, Jasper and I need to talk to you." There was nothing that could be worth the pain of letting go of my numbness. I disregarded his words, never taking my eyes off the wall in front of me.

Just at that moment, something started to pick at the edge of my mind. Suddenly I wanted to know what Carlisle had to say. What could possibly be important enough to try to get me to talk to them? I decided that it must be worthwhile. I looked up to see Carlisle staring at me with an expression I didn't recognize. Was that **hope** I saw in his eyes?

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, most likely wondering if I was really going to listen.

"What is it?" I asked my voice raspy from lack of use.

"I need your permission for something," he said slowly, suddenly unsure. Out of the corner of me eye I saw Jasper's eyes grow wide with surprise. What did Carlisle need to ask me permission for?

"Carlisle, are you sure…?" Jasper said slowly.

"Yes Jasper." Carlisle replied, a look of determination on his face. "Then she won't have to eat." I angled my head to my right, still confused. It had been to long since I thought of anything. Carlisle unexpectedly leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"I need permission to change you." He said, and then backed up to evaluate my reaction.

I was shocked. Part of me wanted to become a vampire so that I could hold onto that last thing I had good in my life. The other part of me was more reluctant. If Victoria came back for me, I would not want her to hesitate in her decision to kill me because I was a vampire. After thinking about it for a while, though I realized something. What if Victoria didn't come back? What was I going to do then? If I became a vampire, I could be with Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose. In a few centuries, maybe the pain would ease up enough for me to function. That was what made my decision.

"You have it." I said. "Just tell Renee and Charlie that I died peacefully in my sleep okay?"

"Oh course Bella." Carlisle said softly. He then looked to Jasper.

"Jasper, I need you to go tell everyone to meet me at the house." he said looking back at me as Jasper walked at a fast human pace out of the door. Carlisle gave me a small smile as he pulled out the IV needle.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, and slowly I nodded my head still confused, more so about why he was asking this.

"Breathe as little as possible and stay limp," he said. "We're going to the morgue." At that, he pulled the sheet over my head and began to wheel me away.


	4. Carlisle's Reassurance

_This is my way of making up the long wait with two chapters! Thanks to everyone that reviewed so far.  
_

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 3 ~ Carlisle's Reassurance_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Rosalie's POV

Jasper walked into Carlisle's office where Emmett, Esme and I were waiting. I automatically stiffened, waiting for the sorrow to hit me. It was as if Jasper carried a cloud with him. It was as if he carried a very, very sad cloud. It wasn't until Esme spoke that I realized Jasper was controlling his emotions better.

"Jasper?" Esme said nervously. She was probably wondering where his cloud had gone too.

"We need to go to the house." Jasper replied, looking at the floor. "Carlisle will meet us there."

"Why?" Emmett demanded, standing up. "What happened? Is Bella alright?"

"Bella hasn't changed." Jasper said slowly, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

"So she is okay?" Esme asked, concerned.

"…Yeah." Jasper replied hesitantly. _What was Jasper hiding?_ Esme stood up, and I could tell she was going to go to the house. Emmett didn't move. He knew there was more to the story, as I did.

"Jasper." I said, getting up and walking over to stand two inches from him. "I want you to tell me everything, and I want you to tell me now." Jasper looked up at me and pursed his lips.

"I don't know if I should tell you Rose. You will find out at the house anyway."

"Tell me now." I said through me teeth.

"But Rose, I-"

**"Don't do this Jasper!"** I shouted at him. **"Just tell me!"**

"Carlisle is going to change Bella." Jasper whispered. "He is taking her to the morgue, and then he is going to take her to the house."

**"He is going to WHAT?"** I couldn't believe this. Carlisle wasn't thinking straight. How could he do this to Bella! She would have to live forever with her pain.

"Does she have any idea what she is doing?" I whispered angrily.

"Rose darling, I don't think Bella would make a decision like this if she didn't know what she was doing." Emmett said putting his arm around my waist.

"I have to go stop them." I said, slipping away from Emmett and rushing out the door.

Bella's POV

The hallways were eerily silent. The only noises were the cart rolling through along the tile, and the footsteps of random doctors that would pass by. One of the doctors stopped to speak with Carlisle.

"Dr. Cullen?" a rough voice asked.

"Dr. Snow." Carlisle replied, sounding depressed.

"Is that Isabella Swan?" Dr. Snow asked, sounding concerned.

"Yes." Carlisle said, somehow making his voice crack.

Dr. Snow sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah…" Carlisle whispered. "Me too." I heard Dr. Snow pat Carlisle's shoulder and slowly walk away. Carlisle started to walk a little faster. We turned a corner and slowed down. I heard a door open then close behind us. The sheet flew off and I looked around.

The morgue was cold. The walls were a dark gray. The room gave me shivers. Carlisle was walking around the room just a little faster than a human would. He went over to a desk in the far corner of the room, and he began digging around in one of the drawers. He began moving faster, and I could tell he was panicking.

"What's wrong Carlisle?" I asked.

"Your papers aren't where I put them." He replied, running over to a shelf on the other side of the room. He was no longer moving anywhere close to a human speed. "I need those papers." I was silent. Why did he need the papers so badly? What was on the papers? Carlisle had said that they were mine. What did that mean? What if he couldn't find them? I had no idea what any of this meant.

Carlisle's searching became more frantic. I was just about to ask more questions when Carlisle froze. In that next second, the sheet was thrown back over me and I had been wheeled to the other side of the room. I waited another five seconds without breathing. Just when I was about to question Carlisle, I heard the morgue door open.

"Carlisle, what do you think you are doing?" I heard a familiar voice whisper harshly.

"I am saving Bella." Carlisle replied. I could hear him searching through drawers again.

"You can't do this Carlisle. Think about Bella. She will have to live with the pain forever." Rosalie said. "I don't think she thought this through."

"I have Rosalie." I said throwing off the sheet. Rosalie seemed surprised by the fact that I was talking again. She got over it quickly though. She had never been one to be shocked into silence, sadly.

"You haven't though. If you had, you wouldn't be considering this." Rosalie said. Was she pleading with me? I couldn't tell. It was so out of character for her.

"Rose, I will tell you why I chose this when we get back to the house."

"It will be too late to change your mind when we get back to the house." Rosalie said. "If you change your mind now, Carlisle can just take you back to your room and no one will be the wiser."

"No Rose." Carlisle interrupted. "I can't. Dr. Snow thinks she's dead."

"You told him?" Rose exclaimed.

"He asked." Carlisle replied calmly. "Why else would I be heading to the morgue?"

**"AH!"** Rosalie screeched turning and stomping from the room.

Carlisle sighed and went back to what he was doing.

"Did you find the papers?" I asked.

"No, I'll have to come back tomorrow." Carlisle said, and then turned to look at me. "Is it okay to leave Esme with you while I come back and look for them?"

"I'll be… Burning right?" I asked.

"Yes, I think the sooner we change you the better." Carlisle replied.

"It would be fine if you left me with Esme." I answered.

"Okay then, let's go." Carlisle said, grabbing his jacket of the back of the chair. He walked over to me as he put it on. When he got over to me, he put his arms out and spoke.

"May I?" He asked, clearly asking permission to carry me.

"Sure" He lifted me up and headed towards the door. He silently opened it and slipped out, breaking into a run. Carlisle turned a corner, and I saw a door at the end of the hall. He didn't even slow as he opened it and continued through. We were outside now. It was dusk, twilight. It reminded me of something Edward had said when he had taken me to prom. It seemed like years ago that we had been outside on that bench under the canopy of trees. Edward had looked up to the moon and murmured _"Twilight, again, another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."_

Tears formed in my eyes as I looked up at the sky, searching for the moon. There wasn't one. A new moon, just like when Edward had left me after my birthday. Two tears trickled down my cheeks and onto the street as Carlisle ran through the parking lot over to his Mercedes. Then, as we reached his car, Carlisle unexpectedly spoke.

"Edward is out there," he whispered, staring at the sky. "I cannot imagine someone as pure as Edward not having life in some form or another." More tears rolled off my cheeks and onto the asphalt as Carlisle set me down in the passenger's seat. I nodded. I had always believed that. I always would. I didn't even notice when Carlisle started the car, and drove off into the night.


	5. Expect the Unexpected

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 4 ~ Expect the Unexpected_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Jasper POV

The four of us had been waiting on the porch of the house for a couple minutes before we heard the car turn onto the road. Emmett and Esme had been able to convince Rose to. at least stay until Bella was a vampire. She has been trying to think of reasons for Bella to stay human. She is feeling hopeful about her newest idea.

"What is it?" I asked.

"This is going to work." Was all she replied.

"Another idea?" Emmett asked. "Tell us baby."

"I want Carlisle and Bella to be here. I want them to know why she shouldn't become a vampire."I sighed and turned my head back around to face the road. Just then, Carlisle's Mercedes came into view. Carlisle pulled to a stop just outside the garage, and they stepped out.

Bella was looking much better. She had a little glisten in her eye and a little sadness was emitting out of her, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been. At least she was feeling emotions again. Carlisle was looking happier, but not better. He looked completely drained of energy. Esme seemed to notice.

"Carlisle darling?" She asked as he came to stand in front of her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He replied, reaching out to take her hands in his. Bella's sadness got worse watching Carlisle and Esme, so I walked over to rest a hand on her shoulder to calm her. The heat of her body made me automatically hold my breath. She looked up at me and smiled a small smile.

"Thanks." She whispered.

"Anytime." I replied with a nod and a small smile of my own. I realized then that Bella was the only one who really had a chance of understanding what I was going through. I had felt the love that Bella had for Edward. It had been nearly as strong as mine had been for Alice. We were in the same situation. We had both lost our reason to live, and we had both lost a family member. I knew that Bella thought of us as family just as we did for her.

How was she handling this? If she had loved Edward almost as much as I had loved Alice… she must be going through something close to the same ripping feeling as me, and she was only human. Bella wasn't easily distracted like vampires. She had lost her other half less then a week ago, and she was standing here when I knew she must be in deep emotional pain. I decided right then that I would do everything in my power to protect her. She shouldn't have to live through this pain as a weak human. She should have the choice. She knows what is best for her. Bella would become a vampire if she wanted to, and I would keep her safe. This also meant that I couldn't be a danger to her either though. I would have to get over my difficulties with human blood. I took a deep breath, and winced. _She will be safe around me. _I reminded myself as I started breathing normally. I was so sidetracked by my thoughts that Rosalie had trouble getting my attention.

**"Jasper! Hello!"** Rosalie practically shouted waving her hands in front of my face.

"Oh, sorry Rosalie." I said, coming back into reality. Emmett and Esme felt curious, while Carlisle and Bella were feeling doubtful. I guess Rose had told them she had a reason for Bella to stay human.

"Now that Jasper is listening," Rose said, shooting a glare my way. "I have a reason for Bella to stay human."

"Rose, It's not safe." I replied.

"Jasper's right Rose." Carlisle defended. "Dr. Snow thinks she is dead, and he most likely told others."

"I say we should at least keep her human until you find her papers." Rosalie said.

"What difference would that make Rose?" I asked.

"We should keep her human, because we might never find her papers." Rose insisted. "If we keep her human and people start making a huge deal out of her body's disappearance, we could just set up a way for her to be 'found' and everything would go back to normal."

"She has a point." Emmett said. I had figured he would take her side.

"Carlisle darling?" Esme asked, turning to see what he thought.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Carlisle replied thoughtfully. "I see what Rose is trying to say, but we can't risk it. I had Bella on the bed when Dr. Snow saw me going to the morgue. He knows I had a body. We can't ignore the fact that if Bella stays human too long, we risk revealing clues to what we are."

"I think Rose is right honey." Esme said, siding with Emmett and Rose. "We shouldn't change Bella until it says she is dead on her papers."

"I say we take a vote then." I suggested.

"Alrighty then." Emmett said. "I think that Bella should stay human until the papers are found."

"Me too." Esme said.

"I don't." I said coldly.

"Me either." Carlisle declared.

"I do." Rose said. Of course she did.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, turning to wait for her answer.

"I don't." Bella whispered fiercely.

"Tie." I whispered.

"So we should at least wait a few days to see if any rumors start." Rosalie said, getting desperate.

"I will give you one day Rosalie." Bella said, getting tired of the whole thing.

"A week." Rose said back beginning to sound even more desperate.

"Three days." Carlisle replied, also getting tired of the whole thing.

"Five." Rosalie pushed.

"No, Rose." Carlisle said sternly.

"Fine!" Rose shouted, then continued so quietly it was hard to catch, "Three days."

Rosalie POV

Three days. I had three days to put off Bella's transformation again. Just three days to find a way to convince Carlisle that Bella should stay human. If I could get Carlisle on my side, everyone would listen. Carlisle was the key to winning. He always was.

"Rosalie?" Jasper asked. "What are you so stressed about?"

"Nothing." I replied curtly. I really hated it when Jasper when all psychologist on everybody.

"Let's go Emmett." I said grabbing his hand and breaking into the trees at a run.

"Rose? Why are you doing this? Dr. Snow already thinks she is dead." Emmett said after a while.

"Shh! Quietly, they might hear you." I hissed back and started to run faster.

"They can't. We are far enough away."

"Emmett, she doesn't know what she is doing. She can say whatever she wants, but I know I wouldn't be thinking straight if I lost you."

"Rose, Bella is a smart girl. She was going to end her human life before Edward…" Emmett stopped his sentence to control himself then continued. "What I mean is, I don't see what different it makes that she is choosing to become a vampire now, versus when she was going to become a vampire to live with Edward."

"The difference," I spat. "Is that now she has nothing to live for!"

Emmett smiled a sad smile and said, "She has me, Carlisle, Jasper, and Esme. She could live for you too, if you would let her."

"She will be living forever with her pain." I whispered. "Everyday she will be thinking about it. Every moment, even after the pain of the change ends she will be wishing for death, and she wont be able to get it."

"What if she doesn't want death?"

"She will when she feels the pain Edward's death brings her with her new, stronger emotions." Emmett started to reply, but he stopped short when we heard footsteps running our way. We dropped into our crouches the moment we smelled werewolf. The dog was coming from the right, so I angled myself to meet the attack head on. Emmett climbed a tree to my right, and he waited on a branch, ready to pounce.

"Hey bloodsuckers." The werewolf called to let us know that he knew we were here. "I come in peace."

"What do you want?" I replied as he came into view. It was Jacob.

"I heard you two talking about Bella becoming a vampire, and I caught that you," He said pointing at me. "Didn't want that to happen."

"Why are you here?" I hissed. I was running out of patience.

"I want to help." Jacob said.

"And how are you going to do that?" Emmett asked, falling from the tree to stand at my side.

"I have a few plans up my sleeve." Jacob said. His expression hadn't changed the whole time he had been talking to us.

"You have three days." I said. "I cannot believe I am excepting help from a dog!"

"Only three days?" Jacob asked, incredulous.

"In three days, Carlisle is going to change her." I said.

"Why didn't you throw a fit?" Jacob demanded.

"I did mongrel!" I growled. "She would be thrashing with the venom in her veins right now if I hadn't thrown a fit!"

"Don't push us dog." Emmett warned. "You only have three days, so I would get a move on if I were you."

"I'll be there a little after midnight." Jacob said turning to walk back the way be came.


	6. Friend or Foe?

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 5 ~ Friend or Foe?_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Jasper POV

It was midnight now. I was sitting at the dinning table, Bella was sleeping on the couch, and everyone else was in their rooms. Rosalie had come back with Emmett about two hours ago. Emmett had been on-edge. He wouldn't stop glancing between Bella and me. What was he so stressed about? Rosalie had come back feeling hyped, like she was preparing for a big game or something. She probably was. She had been very careful as not to give anything away though. I didn't think she had any idea what to do to keep Bella human. She definitely had something going her way though, or she wouldn't be so confident. Just then, Bella's breathing hitched and she mumbled something. I walked over to listen to what she was going to say.

"No, No…" She muttered, and she was suddenly terrified. "Not him too. Run Jacob!" She shot into a sitting position. Her eyes flashed to me, and her fear subsided slightly.

"Sorry Jasper." She said, seeing the unhidden worry on my face.

"Jacob is here?" I suddenly heard Rosalie say as she appeared next to me. She was anxious and excited at the same time.

"No, Bella was just having a nightmare." I replied to Rosalie, keeping my expression blank. Why would Rose be excited? She hated the dogs more than I did.

"Oh, well…" I heard Rosalie's hesitation as she tried to think of an excuse, but it was too short for Bella to catch. "I just came down to watch T.V."

I couldn't control my suspicion any longer. I frowned and a crease formed between my eyes. Rosalie didn't see, and she continued to walk over to the armchair in front of the television. Bella had seen my reaction to Rosalie's behavior though. Bella was confused, and she was looking at me like she thought I had an explanation. I shrugged. She was still confused, but she turned to watch _America's Next Top Model_ with Rose. For about an hour , that was all that happened. Bella, Rose, and I watched T.V. in silence. Bella started to fall asleep again at the beginning of the next episode. Just as her breathing slowed and relaxed, Rose and I heard footsteps coming towards the house. They were too balanced to be human. I got to my feet and stood there, tensed and ready. In the same moment, Emmett was standing next to me.

"I smell werewolf." He said seriously, then a smile slowly spread across his face. "He's on our land. Treaty over." We slipped into crouches at the same time.

"Wait." Carlisle said, stopping our advance to the door. "Let's at least find out why they are here first."

"Why?" Emmett whined.

"It might be something important, something about the fight with the newborns. Victoria did get away." Carlisle reminded us.

"Fine." Emmett agreed, straightening out of his crouch. I didn't say anything as I straightened up.

"We should hide Bella." I said. "Everyone thinks she's dead."

"On it." Emmett said, going and lifting Bella off the couch and upstairs in the same stride. Only five seconds had passed since I had first heard the footsteps. I heard Emmett explaining that we had a visitor to Bella. He didn't tell her it was a werewolf, and I think that that was a good idea.

"Okay…" I heard Bella whisper in a small voice. Emmett had hid her well. Her heartbeat was muffled. It and her breathing would not be heard by a werewolf in human form. Emmett came running down the stairs to stand with me. Esme and Rose had our flanks, and Carlisle was in the front. The footsteps were closer now, and the smell of werewolf was over-whelming. I automatically stiffened.

"I'm just here to talk." The werewolf said as he reached the porch. It was Jacob. He didn't seem angry, but he wasn't calm. I stayed ready just in case. He was on our land. Carlisle opened the front door to let Jacob enter. Jacob nodded his thanks and went to stand a few feet away, facing us. His jaw was locked, and his nose was flared. Other than that, his appearance was calm. His emotions however, were ranging from determination, to sorrow, to rage, and then they went all over again.

"Why are you here Jacob?" Carlisle asked.

"Charlie wanted me to come and ask you if you knew that Bella's papers were missing. He also wanted to know if you knew where her body was." Jacob said, trying to stay under control. The thing that caught my attention was that he didn't ask any questions. He didn't say, "Do you know where Bella's body is? Charlie was wondering too.", He said it like he was accusing us of something. Jacob knew.

"Esme," Carlisle said, turning to her. "Go get Bella."

"Carlisle…" I cautioned as Esme ran up the stairs.

"It was going to happen. We cannot keep it from everyone Jasper." I knew Carlisle was right, but I didn't have a good feeling about this. It was the same type of feeling I would get in the war when I would feel that the enemy was devising a plan. Esme was back with Bella, and Jacob was looking at her with a determined expression.

"Can I talk to you alone?" Jacob asked, still looking at Bella with the same expression. I didn't like this. I didn't like this at all. Something was wrong with this whole situation. Suddenly, I found out what it was. Rosalie was feeling smug. This was the ploy. Jacob was her weapon.

"No." I said threateningly. Who knows what Jacob would do to her.

"Why not?" Jacob demanded.

"I'm not letting her out of my sight." I said with as much malice as I could without growling.

"It's Bella's choice." Jacob retorted.

"I said… I'm not letting her out of my sight." I said in practically a growl. Suddenly, Jacob turned on Carlisle.

"Can you not control anyone in your 'family'?" He sneered. "I wonder what is driving them to such emotional extremes? Suicide and then uncontrollable anger…" He drifted off shaking his head from side to side. He was trying to get people to believe that it was their fault. I felt two stabs of agony at the same time. One was stronger than the other, and the stronger one was almost strong enough to bring me to my knees.

Bella had lost her cool. Jacob's words had sent her over the edge. She had been walking in the strong winds on the cliff face for too long. The winds had finally won, all due to Jacob. Bella had always thought it was partially her fault. This was the stronger one. Esme was dry sobbing, trying to cry the tears that she would never cry. Esme believed that she could have stopped Edward from going and prevented Alice from following. No one was to blame for any of this.

"It is all my fault Carlisle." Esme cried, completely falling apart. Carlisle grabbed her before she could fall to the ground. He was astonished. All I could do was stare in shock as things I thought would never happen, happened.

"Did you leeches really think no one was to blame? Of course it's your fault!" Jacob continued. He felt victorious… and he was enraged. Rose, on the other hand, felt guilty. Even she didn't want to see our mother in pain.

"Jacob… stop… this has gone far enough." Rose said, taking a step forward.

"I was just getting started!" Jacob said back as his anger increased.

"Jacob… I never wanted it this way. I just wanted Bella human. I didn't want anyone getting hurt." Ha! Proof! I was right… this had been her plan all along. I moved to stand closer to Bella, and Jacob noticed.

**"Oh, so you are her new protective parasite?"** He screamed at me, causing a growl to form in my throat as a warning.

**"Jacob! Stop it!"** Bella cried. She was really pale, and she looked like she was about to pass out. "Don't do this Jacob… whatever you are doing, don't do it." Jacob's anger drained away, and he walked up to Bella.

"Bella," Jacob said softly, lifting a hand and resting it on the side of Bella's face. "Why are you doing this?"

"They are all I have left Jacob." Bella said, a tear falling from her face.

"You have me! You have me Bella!" Jacob said desperately.

"That is the problem Jacob." Bella said, openly crying now. "I can't do that to you. I can't make you go through the depression that I will always be going through. You deserve better than that Jacob. You will always be my sun but I don't want you struggling to keep me happy when your not."

"After a while the depression will go away. It can't last forever!" Jacob said, his emotions going haywire. I couldn't trust him when his emotions were like this.

"It can Jacob." Bella replied, nodding sadly.

**"Who convinced her that it would last forever?"** Jacob screamed, his anger coming back. Then he turned on me. **"Was it you? Did you tell her that?"**

"I didn't say anything." I said in a hard voice, pulling Bella to stand just behind me.

"So you get to touch her, but I can't even talk to her alone?" Jacob demanded.

"I am not letting my anger get out of hand." I hissed.

"Oh really?" Jacob sneered as a smile slowly spread across his face. "Alice must have gotten pretty tired of you. She had to have known that her 'rescue mission' was practically suicide, but she went willingly." So, this is how he wanted it? He wanted to blame Alice's death on me? I didn't stop her. I wasn't even given a chance. I had no idea she had left until she called me from the airplane phone while she was flying over England. I was already too late. I could have still gone though. Who knows… maybe I would have made it on time. My Alice might still be alive… if only I had tried.

"And the leeches finally see the truth." Jacob whispered sarcastically. Bella was outright sobbing now. All the sadness in the room finally brought me to my knees. I put my head in my hands, and I finally admitted the truth to myself. It was my fault Alice was dead. It was all my fault.

Carlisle POV

Half of my mind was busy comforting Esme, but the other half heard it all. I heard Jacob begging Bella to go with him. No one would have stopped her. She could leave if she wanted to. She would always have that option. I heard Rose and Bella begging him to stop. The only difference was that Rose seemed to know what was going on. Finally, I heard Jacob telling Jasper that it was his fault Alice was dead. At that, I had turned to see Jasper fall to the ground in despair. Bella was sobbing right behind him, and she looked like she was about to faint.

This was not right. I had to stop this somehow. Jacob was tearing my family apart, and his anger would only get worse after Bella was changed. I couldn't let Jacob be a danger to my family… and to Esme. As much as I hated to do this, I had to make Jacob leave. We would have to move immediately. We had to change Bella, and since Jacob knew we were going too soon, we would have to move beforehand. Poor Bella… she would have to go through the change in an unfamiliar place.

This was for my family. Jacob **would** leave. I didn't want this to turn violent, but I didn't know if there was much of a choice anymore.


	7. Too Late to Runaway

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 6 ~ Too Late to Runaway_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Emmett POV

Jacob just smiled down at Jasper as he grieved, and he didn't even seem to notice that Bella was crying. Did the dog think he would get way with making **my** little sister cry?

**"Dog!"** I shouted, getting his attention. **"You and me. Right now."**

"You wanna throw down?" Jacob said turning to me. "You sure you want to do that bloodsucker?"

"Yeah. I think I do." I replied, stiffening and dropping into my crouch.

"What ever you say." Jacob replied, exploding into his wolf form. In that moment, everything turned chaotic. Jasper snapped out of his mourning, picked Bella up, and run out of the house with her. Esme followed Jasper and Bella, while Rose and Carlisle took my flanks. Jacob leaped straight for the three of us. Rose leaped at him from the side, sending both of them though the wall. Carlisle and I ran to stand on the sides of the hole in the wall. Rose ran back into the house, Jacob on her heals. He wasn't expecting us to be standing there though. Carlisle and I jumped onto him as soon as he was through the hole. Rose turned to join us in the slaughter. When we were done, Carlisle stood staring at Jacob's remains, sadness apparent in his eyes.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Carlisle whispered to no one in particular. "He was supposed to leave, not…" Even I couldn't help but be sad. The dogs had helped us with the newborns, but they were our mortal enemies. Not only that, but Jacob had been tormenting Jasper and Bella. He was completely willing to destroy me too. Like he could have, Emmet was a tank!

"Carlisle?" I heard Esme say as she entered the house. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Carlisle replied, not looking fine at all.

"He was going to attack Emmett honey. There was no other option." Esme soothed, rubbing Carlisle's arm with her hand.

"What about Bella? How is she doing?" He asked.

"She is in shock. That is why I came back so soon." She replied. "Jasper can't get her emotions back to normal, and we are afraid she will start hyperventilating."

"Alright, Emmett take Jacob to the treaty line. They will find him." Carlisle said turning to Esme. "You and Rose should hurry and pack. We need to leave tonight. Decide what cars we are going to take. We might have to leave one or two behind.."

"No problem darling." Esme said. "Go to Bella. She needs you." Carlisle kissed Esme briefly and ran out of the back door. Rose and Esme darted upstairs as soon as Carlisle was out of view. I sighed and reached down to pick up Jacob's still form. I sprinted out the door and headed towards the treaty border. I hoped Bella wouldn't be mad at me. I hoped she would see that we had no other option. I didn't want Bella to hate me, especially when she was a vampire. I didn't want to admit it, but I had always known that she would be stronger than me. I have always just been hoping that there would never be a reason for her to test her strength on me. Just then, I heard something ahead of me. Heartbeats, four or five of them, and they were coming closer. I jolted to a stop and listened closer. A gust of wind blew from that direction just then, and the smell of werewolf hit me like a pillowcase full of soap. They were even closer now. I knew that they weren't going to stop and listen, so I dropped Jacob where I was. I whipped around and ran at full speed back to the house. I needed to warn everyone that werewolves were coming.

I broke through the trees that connected to the lawn and came face to face with Jasper.

"Emmett, what is going on? What's with the feeling of urgency?" He asked, obviously worried.

"The Werewolves are coming! The Werewolves are coming!" I said, suddenly amused. "Déjà vu buddy?"

"Nice try, but you have the wrong war Emmett." Jasper replied, rolling his eyes and turning to run towards the house. I followed close behind. Carlisle, Esme, and Rose were running to and fro, grabbing last minute things and taking them out to the garage. I wasn't worried, because I knew we would be taking my car. It would carry all the stuff. What would we do without it?

"Emmett, you are taking your Jeep." Carlisle began telling me as Rose and Esme darted in and out of the house. Bingo. "Rosalie will be taking the Vanquish, Esme and I will be taking the Mercedes, Jasper is debating between taking the Volvo or the Porsche."

"I'll help take stuff out." Jasper said, and he began to run things out to the cars also. I realized Bella was standing over by the arm of the couch, staring out of the back window. I walked over to her and stood silently beside her. She didn't even look at me. I could tell she knew I was there. I didn't want her mad at me. I had to say something.

"Bella?" I asked softly. She turned to look at me. What I saw nearly broke my heart. The pain in her eyes was so intense that it made it hard for me to choke back my emotion. I would _not_ start dry sobbing. I was Emmett, and I was above that, I was tank. Bella turned back to look out the window. I did also. I didn't know if she completely forgave me, but I could tell she didn't hate me. Her turning to look at me had told me enough. I could tell that even though it was my fault Jacob was dead, she was going to forgive me in the end. Edward had been right. Bella was as selfless as people get. Just then, I heard Jasper enter the house.

"Emmett." Jasper whispered too quietly for Bella to hear. "Carlisle wants to talk to you." I patted Bella's shoulder and turned to walk out the front door. I would never hurt Bella again. I don't think I would be able to get through her having that look in her eyes again.

Bella POV

Did I really want to become a vampire? Edward and Alice, and now Jacob too. I want to just die. I didn't like thinking like this, but really? What was I supposed to be thinking about… rainbows? Emmett came to stand beside me. I knew Emmett hadn't meant this too happen. It wasn't his fault. He had been trying to stand up for Jasper and I… it just didn't work out so well. I couldn't bring myself to forgive him right at this moment. It wasn't like I was going to hate him or anything though.

"Bella?" he asked. I turned to look at him. His eyes widened the slightest bit, and his jaw clinched. It looked like he was trying not to cry. I turned back to the window, and he did a second after me. I figured that meant he understood that I would forgive him with time. He patted my shoulder and walked away. Jasper came and took his place. Why was he trying so hard? I knew that being so close to me must be hard for him. He didn't look like he was having as much trouble as normal today though.

"Hey Bella?" Jasper asked without turning to look at me. "Do you think I should take the Porsche or the Volvo?" I almost smiled at how random and normal that question was. I took a deep breath, hoping my voice wouldn't shake or crack when I replied.

"Whichever."

"I want to know what you think. With the Volvo we wont stick out so much, but we can go faster in the Porsche." Jasper said, totally serious.

"Are we even going to go to school where we are headed?" I asked, finally turning to look at Jasper.

"I doubt it." Jasper replied, turning to look back at me.

"Well then you wont have the need to blend in." I said.

"The Porsche it is then." Jasper said with a smile, and I had no choice but to smile back. Jasper's head was suddenly pointed towards the front door. I heard it then, a howling wolf. Jasper lifted me up and ran out to the garage. He put me in the Porsche's passenger seat and was in the drivers seat starting the car before I could blink. The others were already in their cars and speeding down the driveway.

"They are after us aren't they?" I whispered, knowing Jasper could hear me.

"Yes." Jasper replied, sharply turning a corner. This situation seemed very familiar to me, but I didn't have time to dwell on it. At that moment, another howl ripped though the silence, and then two more things happened simultaneously. Jasper flung his arms in front of my body and slammed his foot down on the break. The car jerked as it tried to stop with such short notice. There was a sickening thud as something ran into the back of the car. My head would have hit my head on the back of the seat if Jasper hadn't already been holding me. He slammed on the gas again, and the car flew forward.

"What was that?" I asked breathless as he removed his hands from in front of me and pulled out his phone.

"That" Jasper replied. "Was a werewolf." I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to know who it was. What if it was Seth or Embry or Quil? What if it was Brad or Collin, Sam, Jared, or Paul? No, I didn't want to know. I just wanted to get far away from here. I wanted to leave and never look back. I heard Jasper growl as he dialed again.

"Emmett, why isn't Carlisle answering his phone?" he said after a second. I could barely understand him he was talking so fast.

"If Alice was here we wouldn't have that problem." he hissed into the phone. Emmett then said something that caused Jasper's eyes to go wide.

"Got it." Jasper said closing the phone and pulling over two seconds later. Jasper got out of the car and ran over to Emmett and Rosalie where they were waiting by their cars. The Mercedes was also alongside the rode, the two front doors still open.

"What happened?" Jasper asked as he went up to them. I had to strain to hear.

"Something attacked his car. Whatever it was, it was gone by the time I got there." Rosalie said.

"That was when I saw her and told you to pull over." Emmett added. Jasper said something else, but it was too quiet for me to hear. Where were Carlisle and Esme? I turned to open the door and go over to join them, but when I turned, I was met by a pair of red eyes.


	8. Doctors Note

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 7 ~ A Doctor's note_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Bella POV

I woke up laying on a soft surface. I stretched and inhaled deeply, expecting to be met by that wonderful honey scent I had come to love. I was instead met with a different smell. It was familiar, so I didn't scream. It did startle me though. I shot into a sitting position and opened my eyes. Everything came back to me as I looked to see who it was that had startled me. Edward couldn't be here, and I still didn't know whose red eyes I had seen before going unconscious.

"Oh I'm sorry dear, did I frighten you?" Esme asked, obviously concerned. She was sitting on the arm of the couch right next to where my head had been while I was out. I had smelled Esme's sweet, somewhat chocolaty, scent.

"Esme!" I exclaimed, leaning forward to hug her. "Where are we? Is Carlisle here too?"

"I'm here Bella." Carlisle's voice came from across the room. He was leaning against the far wall. He looked as clam as he always did. I put my fists to my eyes and tried to rub away the sleep. Then I realized that I still didn't know where we were. I also still hadn't found out whose red eyes those had been. I refused to think I might have imagined it. I knew being crazy was a possibility, but I really didn't want to consider it.

"Where are we? What happened?" I asked. Carlisle and Esme glanced at each other. They stared at each other for a while until Carlisle nodded, and Esme turned to look at me.

"We don't know what happened." Esme said. Her voice was barely loud enough for me to hear.

"What do you mean?" I whispered. How could they not remember? They were vampires! It didn't make any sense. They had to know.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, walking over to stand in front of me by the couch. "When you went to Italy, did you meet Alec?" I was too confused to respond, so I just nodded.

"Did Edward tell you his ability?"

"No." I whispered. I couldn't hear my voice, but I knew they could.

"It is a little bit like Jane's." Carlisle said. "I assume you know her ability?" I nodded then shuddered, remembering Edward thrashing in pain on the tile floor… I closed my eyes to try to repel the image. I opened them again as Carlisle continued speaking.

"Instead of causing pain though, Alec makes it impossible to feel pain. He cuts off your senses. I think that is what happened to us."

"So that is why I don't remember anything except a pair of red eyes?" I asked.

"That is what we're guessing." Esme replied with a nod. There was a silence while I thought about that. There was a problem with their theory. Edward and I had come to the conclusion that abilities that had to do with the mind didn't work on me. If Alec's ability was like Jane's… that meant that it had to do with the mind and, therefore, shouldn't work on me. I was about to voice this when another thought made itself known. Alec was part of the Volturi, and that could mean only one thing.

"Carlisle?" I whispered.

"What is it Bella?" He asked.

"We are in Volterra, Italy." It wasn't a question.

"I am afraid so Bella. I would know these walls anywhere." He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry Bella. I wish I could tell how it will all work out."

"What part of their lair are we in?" I asked after a few seconds of silence. Carlisle smiled and took another quick look around.

"I would say somewhere in the east wing. It is not so damp in the east wing, but there is no was of knowing for certain-" Carlisle suddenly stopped speaking and, along with Esme, looked to the door. Soon, I could hear rapid footsteps approaching the door. They paused for a second outside, then the door opened. Felix, Jane, and Alec were all standing in the doorway. Jane was in front, and she was the one that spoke.

"Aro wishes to see you." She said with a menacing smile. I didn't need Jasper's ability to feel the anticipation coming off her in waves. It was extremely unnerving. "Follow me."

She turned on her heal and started striding down the hallway.

"It is probably best not to test their patience." Esme said, and at that, we all stood up She then turned to face me. "Is it alright if Carlisle carries you so that we can move faster?" I nodded, and Carlisle lifted me up over his shoulder. We moved quickly through the corridors and Carlisle's assumption as to where we were was confirmed. It was getting very damp as we continued to follow the others. Suddenly we turned a corner and were in the same throne room Edward, Alice, and I had been taken to last time I was here. Aro, obviously, didn't look any different that last time I had seen him.

"It is great to see you Carlisle, my old friend! Ah… and Esme, the lovely wife." Aro's attention then moved to me. "Bella! Back so soon are we? I see that you are still human. Tsk Tsk…" He walked over shake Carlisle's hand. I tensed, knowing that soon Aro would know of the Cullen family's pain. I didn't want him knowing any of the Cullen's thoughts. After a second, Aro let go of Carlisle's hand to shake Esme's hand. Aro looked surprised as he let go of Esme's hand. Then his eyes widened, and he turned to me.

"How are you doing that? How are you keeping me from knowing their thoughts?" He asked me. My eyes widened, and I blinked.

"What?"

"She is a Shield." said a female voice that had been haunting my nightmares. I shuddered. I would know her voice anywhere.

"Tell us how you know this." Aro said to her without taking his eyes off me.

"Laurent had stayed with the Alaskan Coven that they are friends with for some time. He became very close with one. He found out that Eleazer had the ability to see what a human's ability might be if they were turned into a vampire. I had Laurent take Eleazer to figure out what Bella's ability could be. Eleazer said she would undoubtedly be some kind of Shield." She said. It was easy to hear the smile in her voice. "Apparently the missing dead body isn't so dead or missing after all."

"Long time no see Victoria." I was glad to hear that my voice didn't crack, betraying the true fear I felt coursing through my veins. Her laughter sent another shiver down my spine.

"Long time indeed. I came here after I found out you were still human. After all, can't let you betray our secret." Victoria paused and came to stand in front of me. "I was quite amused when I came here and found out that your precious Edward was already dead." I tensed, but I didn't let the pain I was feeling show on my face. Edward would have wanted me to be strong. I would stay strong for Edward.

"Why don't you give Carlisle his papers back?" Aro said, coming up behind Victoria. Then he turned to me. "Well Bella, It seems that you are even stronger then I thought you were before. Being able to block their thoughts as well as your own while you are still human says much about your potential." Victoria handed Carlisle some paper's with a sly smile.

"Bella's papers… how did you get these?" Carlisle asked Victoria.

"The pixie gave them to me before she left. She had already filled out Bella's injuries." Victoria gave a small laugh and continued. "She told me to tell you that she had a vision and to ask Aro what it was. It was quite convenient for me. You would have been suspicious if you had caught my scent, but you would have never suspected one of your own coven." Alice did this? What could she have possibly seen that would have made her do this? I was supposed to come to Volterra? None of it made sense, but I trusted Alice. She wouldn't have done anything to put me in danger. I would just have to trust her judgment. I knew Carlisle and Esme would do the same. Carlisle nodded to Victoria and turned to Aro.

"What was her vision?" He asked.

"Bella and Jasper holding hands on their way here" Aro said, tilting his head to the side. "I didn't understand it, but she seemed to." Jasper and I holding hands? Now that had me really confused. I was still utterly in love with Edward. Jasper was my brother, nothing more. Maybe it was purely brotherly, but why on earth would we be coming HERE? At least this vision gave me the comfort that I would get out of here. I would have to leave to come back, right?

"Maybe we should address the matter at hand. Bella is still human, and I cannot let you walk away without being sure that she will be changed. Since Alice isn't here I cannot have that kind of reassurance unless she is changed here and now." Aro said. "The sooner the better Carlisle."

"Of course Aro." Carlisle said frowning. "Could she at least be able to go through the change in a more private place?"

"Certainly old friend." Aro said with a wave at Jane. Jane then began to lead us down the hall we had entered from. The castle was, of course, breath-taking, but I wasn't concentrating on that. Simply put, I was terrified. I did not want to endure the pain that made vampires shudder just remembering it in the house of the Volturi. That thought alone sickened me. On top of that, there was the fact that it was going to be more agonizing than my worst imaginings. The thing that suppressed me the most was that, even though inside I was shaking and trembling in fright, on the outside I was completely in control. I looked calm and collected. I wasn't shivering, crying, or anything.

Then I realized that my body hadn't caught up with my mind yet. It didn't realize that it was about to be tortured for three days. It had no idea that within the next hour it would have vampire venom flowing through its veins. This was all happening too quickly for me. Just days ago I had been the happiest (maybe the most stressed too, but that's not the point) person in the world. I had the love of my life by my side, forever in my future, and a place in the Cullen family. What more could I have asked for? Now, I was being forced into forever without the love of my life or my best friend, Victoria was still after me, Aro was intrigued by my shield, and I didn't know if Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett were all right. I had to be dreaming. No way was all this really happening to me. Just then, Jane opened a door to our left. She waved for us to enter, and then she stood in the doorway.

"You have fifteen minutes." She said, closing the door behind her. We stayed silent until her footsteps were unable to be heard.

"Oh Bella!" Esme cried, bringing me into a hug. "I'm so sorry deary."

"I wish there was another way Bella." Carlisle added.

"It's okay. I wish there was another way too." I replied, drawing back from Esme's hug. "We have no choice but to do what they say. I understand that."

"Would you still be up for trying the morphine?" Carlisle asked. "I would use more than usual so that it would be more likely to work."

"I'm willing to try anything." I said as I sat on the bed that would be my home for the next three days. "Do whatever you think would be best." I knew the morphine wouldn't make a difference though. I had had morphine and venom in my veins when James had bit me. I had still felt the fire.

While Carlisle went to search the cabinets for medical supplies, I took a deep breath and laid down on my back. Esme sat beside me on the bad and grabbed my hand. I gave her hand a small squeeze. I definitely needed a mother's comfort right now. Carlisle walked back into the room with a vial and a filled syringe. He set the vial on the bedside table, and prepared my arm for the injection.

My body had caught up now. I was shaking and trying to take deep breaths as Carlisle put the tip of the needle to the vein in my arm. I turned to look at Esme so I wouldn't have to watch. Stupid needles they had always bothered me ever since I was a child.

"Ready?" He asked. I didn't think I could speak, so I simply nodded. I felt the prick as the needle entered, and then I felt another one in the same spot a second later.

"We will wait just long enough for the morphine to begin to flow," he told me. The way my heart was beating that wouldn't take long. I took another deep breath. I was ready for this. I had plenty of time to prepare for this. I knew what was coming, and Carlisle and Esme would be with me the whole time. I felt the morphine taking affect now. My senses were dulled, and my muscles were loosening up. When I was about to tell Carlisle this, he spoke.

"This is it," he said "Ready yourself."

I took a deep breath and held it. I closed my eyes, and I imagined what Edward and Alice would say if they were here.

"_Oh, Edward! This is my vision coming true! We have to go shopping when you wake up Bella!" _That would be Alice, excited about everything the Pixie on Crack."_ I am such a selfish creature. I am willing to put you through the worst pain to have you forever." _That had Edward all over it. He was always bringing himself down. What was forever without Edward? The searing pain at my wrist brought me out of my thoughts. Next were my ankles, my other wrist, and the insides of my elbows. Carlisle tilted my head back, and there was another sharp pain at my neck.

"I am so sorry Bella." I heard him whisper. It was barely loud enough for me to hear.

The fire began to burn. It was everywhere. It was growing larger and larger. Finally it got to the point where I couldn't think around it. Pain… so much pain… the pain… never-ending pain. The fire was scorching through my veins, leaving nothing in its path. I tried to scream. _**"Kill me! Kill me! Kill me now!"**_ but my mouth wouldn't open. I couldn't move. Why couldn't I move? I knew the answer the moment I thought the question. It was the morphine. It had completely shut my body down. Now I couldn't tell them to kill me. Death… that's all I wanted. It would free me from the fire.

How would I last three days? Surely, by then all that will be left of me is a pile of ashes.


	9. The Other Side of things

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 8 ~ The Other Side of things_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Jasper's POV

"What was that?" Bella asked when I had hit the breaks to make the dog run into the car.

"That," I said, pausing to take out my phone. "Was a werewolf." I needed to call Carlisle to find out what the plan was. First, we needed to get the enemy off our trail, and then we needed to go to some place that we could change Bella. I had no idea what was going on. I hadn't had time to ask Carlisle before we had needed to run. I got Carlisle's voicemail twice before giving up. I growled and dialed Emmett's number.

"Emmett, why isn't Carlisle answering his phone?" I demanded when he picked up.

"I don't know. I had to turn a different way to ditch two of the fur balls." Emmett said into the phone. "Now we have the issue of not knowing where Carlisle and Esme are."

"If Alice was here we wouldn't have that problem." I said through my teeth.

"I know but-" Emmett paused, then started up faster than before. "That's the car! Hey Jazz, Rose found the car, but Carlisle and Esme aren't there. The doors are still open too. You'll see it in about half a mile. Hurry up and get over here. This isn't looking good. I think we've got a huge problem."

"Got it." I said and snapped the phone shut and pressed the gas pedal to the floor until I saw Emmett's Jeep pulled over in the trees. I pulled over and dashed out of the car and over to them.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Shadows attacked his car. Whatever it was, it was gone by the time I got here." Rosalie explained.

"That was when I saw her and told you to pull over." Emmett interjected. He then continued quietly. "We found a Volturi cloak just inside the trees."

"You're sure that's what it was?" I asked right away. I scanned out with my ability. I felt Rosalie and Emmett's worry, and I felt Bella's confusion. I stretched out harder. Finally I felt another emotion… caution.

I flipped around to run to Bella just as I felt her fear, and then there was nothing.

Poke, Poke, Poke. Shake, shake, voice.

"Dude? You alright man? Wake up." That was when I came to. That was when I went into defense mode. I shot to my feet and pinned the form to Emmett's Jeep in less than half a second. I heard a crack and a scream. I let out my most frightening growl. Who was this man, and why was he here? He's afraid, confused, and shocked. Was he alone? I started scanning the surrounding area with my extra talent.

"Jasper!" Emmett's voice shouted, snapping me out of it. This was a human. I could hear his heartbeat and breathing. This guy had been trying to help. He had seen me on the floor unconscious. I let go of him and stepped back until I hit a tree. Then I fell to the ground at the base of it and put my head into my hands. _Get a hold of yourself! Think! What do you know, and then what don't you know? _I knew that this guy was not the enemy, that I had been unconscious, and that Carlisle and Esme were missing. I don't know how I had lost consciousness, if Bella is okay, if the guy is alright, where Carlisle and Esme are, and how I am going to explain my superhuman strength and speed to this guy.

"What are you people?" The man said, his voice cracking twice. He started to back up around the car. We couldn't let him leave. He knew something was up.

"Don't let him leave." I commanded in a calm voice. Emmett had a hold on the guy's arm before he had time to think. He was too terrified to speak. I got to my feet in a flash and turned to speak to the human. "What is your name?"

"John." He whispered in a shaky voice. I could tell by his emotions that he was lying.

"It would not be smart to lie to me. What is your full name?" I demanded, moving to stand not three inches from him. My close proximity increased his fear by a landslide.

"Kevin Fletcher." He said his eyes wide. He was telling the truth this time.

"Let me tell you a few things Kevin. If I let, you go and you told anyone what you saw here today, I could be killed. I refuse to let that happen. I see no choice but to make sure you never speak again." I hissed at him.

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh brother?" Emmett asked me in a voice too quiet for the human to hear. I ignored him. I knew what I was doing. Humans had caught me hunting before when I had been in the south. This always worked.

"Please don't kill me." Kevin begged. He was getting frantic.

"I don't want to, but I don't have a choice. My life is more important than yours." I told him, being careful to stay expressionless. He was getting hopeful.

"I won't tell anyone what I saw! I swear!" Kevin argued. This is what he was hopeful about. He had to know I was serious. I waited for a second to make it look like I was considering letting him go.

"I don't think I can let you go." I said again. I had to wait until he lost all hope and believed there was no way I was going to let him live.

"Please man, I've got a wife and family. I was only trying to help! I won't tell a soul!" Kevin was already out of hope. He was only begging now because he didn't know what else to do. Which was a tab bit amusing. Playing with my food had always been fun, but now that I had switched my diet, they weren't food but still just as fun to play with.

"Do you know how I knew you were lying when you told me your name was John?" I asked. This was where lying came in. This was the fun part.

"No." Kevin replied in a shaky whisper.

"It's because I know everything." I said with a straight face. It was a ridiculous lie, but for some reason it worked every time. "When you were lying, I felt it. If you tell anyone, I will feel it. If I ever feel that you've told anyone, I will come for you. If I end up having to come for you, I won't only kill you. I will kill your whole family. Then my friends and I will eat your children."

"Eat them?" Kevin was frozen with terror. He believed me. He wouldn't be telling anyone.

"I am feeling merciful. Get out of here before I change my mind." I said with a wave of my hand. Emmett let go of the man's arm, Kevin ran to get in his car, and he took off down the street. Once Kevin turned the corner, Emmett burst out laughing.

"What was that Jasper?" He said, still laughing.

"Humans had come upon us while we were hunting when I was in the newborn army. We used that tactic all the time." I replied calmly.

"My friends and I will eat your children." Emmett mocked, laughing so hard he had to grab onto the Jeep to steady himself. Rose stood shaking her head, but even she was amused.

"Emmett, focus." Rosalie said. "We were just unconscious, in case you don't remember. Vampires don't fall unconscious."

"Plus, Bella is gone along with Esme and Carlisle." I added. Emmett had sobered up now, and had his thinking face on.

"We did find that Volturi cloak by the car before." Emmett reminded us.

"They must be behind this." Rose said. "But why?"

"Bella is still human. Do you think they were coming to see if she was changed yet?" I asked.

"That would make sense, but how did they knock us out?" Emmett challenged. At just that moment, my phone buzzed. I almost didn't pull it out, but I had a feeling I needed to. I looked at the caller I.D. and gasped in surprise. It was Bella's number. I flipped it open and put it to my ear.

"Bella?" I asked in a hopeful voice.

"No, It's me." A familiar voice replied.

"Carlisle!" I said in relief. "Are Bella and Esme with you? Are you alright?"

"They are both right here, and Esme and I are fine." He answered.

"What about Bella, how is she?" I said into the phone.

"She is going through the change. We are in Italy."

"So it was the Volturi!" I said. "Carlisle, we were knocked unconscious. What do you think happened?"

"One of the guard has the ability to cut off the senses. It renders vampires helpless."

"Is it a mind ability?" I asked.

"Yes. He doesn't actually cut off the senses. It is all in the mind." Carlisle replied.

"Then it shouldn't work on Bella. Did you ask her what happened?"

"She was out longer than Esme and I were."

"But mind abilities don't work on her."

"Before she woke up I checked her out, and she didn't show any signs of being desensitized. I'm guessing that she simply fainted." Carlisle explained, calm as always.

"That makes sense. Why are you using Bella's phone? What happened to yours?"

"The Volturi took mine and Esme's. I don't think they thought Bella had one. Most people don't keep phones in their shoes." I laughed at that. Ever since Edward had gotten Bella a cell phone, she had been keeping it in her left shoe. When I had asked her why she did that, she told me that it was so it wouldn't get stolen. I never thought that something so simple and ridiculous would actually work. I was glad that something had gone as planned.

"Jasper, Aro is interested in Bella's shield. He might not let us leave after Bella completes the transformation." Carlisle said in worried voice. "I need you to start thinking up plans of action just in case. I'm going to keep the phone in my shoe because I don't want Bella accidentally breaking it with her newborn strength when she wakes up."

"Good idea, wait… wakes up? What do you mean Carlisle? I thought she was going through the change."

"She is. The morphine must be working because she isn't screaming or moving. She seems unconscious." While Carlisle was saying this in my ear, Rosalie caught my attention. She held out her hand for the phone. I didn't want to give it to her, but I didn't see any other options.

"Hey Carlisle, Rose want to talk to you. I'll get to work on those plans of action."

"Alright, bye Jasper. Be careful son." I handed the phone to Rose and went to stand by the Jeep with Emmett. I heard Rose ask for an update. She was asking almost the same questions I had been asking. I looked up to the sky to see the sun coming up. Rose, Emmett, and I were half a world away from Bella, Carlisle, and Esme. There were so many things to worry about. Well, I had plenty of time to worry about them. We wouldn't know anything until Bella was done with the change. Then after that, I'd still have to wait for Carlisle to call. This was going to be a long three days.


	10. We Meet Again

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 9 ~ We Meet Again_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Aro's POV

It is a shame that I had to have Edward and Alice killed. It was such a waste! With abilities like theirs on the guard, I'd have been unstoppable. There was still Bella to hope for. Alice had seen that Bella would have great power. What if she is to refuse to join my guard? It will be fine. After all, I have eternity to convince her to join. No need to force her into it now. Alice's final vision greatly confuses me. Why would Bella and Jasper be holding hands on their way here? Marcus didn't sense a romantic relationship. It is all quite complicated really. I cannot seem to wrap my head around it. There are many unanswered questions. I just wish I could get into Bella's head.

"Master?" Jane asks as she enters the empty room. Marcus and Casius had gone out hunting the day before.

"Yes Jane?" I reply, looking up from the floor to look at her.

"Bella's transformation is complete, and she has hunted. She wants to speak with you." She says.

"Excellent!" I exclaim with a clap as I stand. "Bring her in." The doors to my right open and Esme walks in with three members of my guard, but this isn't where I'm looking. Bella entered last, with Carlisle standing beside her. She was dashing, of course. Her hair had grown, and the red in it had intensified. She'd grown another inch or so, and her eyes were now that stunning bright red of a newborn. This wasn't the reason I couldn't take my eyes off her though. It was the way she held herself. She did not move in the fast, flashy ways of a newborn. Her eyes did not dart, and she was standing completely upright. If I didn't know any better, I would think she was as old as Carlisle, if not a century older. I found it absolutely astounding.

"Bella dear! What was it that you wanted to talk with me about?" I asked in true curiosity.

"I need to ask you a question Aro. Is Victoria still here?" Bella inquired in her new voice. It was comparable to the whistle of a flute.

"No, she left when it was announced that you would be turned into a vampire." I replied, somewhat confused. "Is there a reason you ask?"

"It is rather hard to explain. Would it be fine if I showed you?" Bella truly had a knack for confusing me.

"How do you plan on doing that?" I asked her.

"Like this." Then she began walking up to me at a completely normal pace. The guard didn't know how to react. Either way, they left her to advance on me. When she was standing directly in front of me, she held out her hand. I was lost. She was aware that my ability did not work on her, but out of pure curiosity I touched her hand. Every thought Bella had ever thought went flying through my head, but I know that this one was the one that answered part of my question. "_Victoria had gotten what she wanted… a mate for a mate. She probably didn't even know Edward was dead. Who knows, maybe she wouldn't be happy with his death. She had wanted me dead, not Edward. Maybe she would come after me still. The thought gave me the smallest bit of hope, but not enough to register to Jasper, as he and Carlisle stepped into the room. When Victoria had come with her newborn vampire army, Edward had fought to protect me. It wasn't enough though. She had brought one of the newborns with her. The newborn had been too much for Seth, and he had had to run. Edward couldn't kill the newborn and Victoria and protect me at the same time. He had made an opening for Victoria when the newborn had leaped at him. Victoria had only needed that small weakness in Edward's defenses. She had attacked me then. She had lifted me into the air and thrown me deep into the trees. I had hit my head hard on one of the trees and fallen to the ground. I had laid there for a long time before I had heard Edward and Emmett looking for me." _Her thoughts continued until I was finally to the present. She spoke to me with her thoughts then.

"I want to know if she will ever be able to accept Edward's death and go on without killing me."

"I do not see her letting it go. Her mind was made up. She doesn't even know what she is going to do for the rest of her time if she does succeed in killing you." I replied out loud. Suddenly, her mind was blank to me once more.

"Thank you that is all I needed to know." Bella said.

"How were you able to let me hear your thoughts?" I questioned, even though I couldn't fathom how she would know. Once again though, Bella surprised me.

"Apparently I can lift my shield from my mind all together if I choose to do so. I can also stretch it to cover many people." Bella replied.

"You can control it? So soon?" I was astonished. Never in all my centuries had I had the privilege to witness such maturity in a newborn. "Absolutely amazing! After these events, I simply must invite you to join the Volturi again Bella. I would be honored to have you on the Guard."

"I am flattered by the invitation Aro. I really am, but I do not believe I am ready to commit to anything so soon after my mate's death." Bella replied slowly. I could tell she was not lying. It was enough just to see that she had actually considered it. I had eternity to add her to my guard.

"I understand Bella. It is great to see you finally join the vampire world." I turned to Esme next. "It was wonderful to meet you."

"Likewise Aro." Esme replied. I turned to Carlisle last.

"It was good to see you again old friend." I said sincerely. "Don't stay away so long this time!"

"Am I invited to the next Turning of the Century party?" Carlisle asked with a small grin.

"Of course, and I expect to see your whole coven here!" I replied with an exuberant laugh. "I am sorry we had to meet in this way. Hopefully next time it is by your own means."

"Goodbye Aro. Good luck keeping everyone in their place." Carlisle said with a wave as he was lead out the door. Once the doors shut I dismissed the remaining guard in the room and sat on my throne. I might have lost Edward and Alice, but Bella held such potential as a member of the Volturi. I smiled to myself as I imagined her in a dark Volturi cloak. I could see now how Edward had fallen for her. She really was remarkable. I once again imagined her in the cloak of a Volturi Guard member. Speaking of cloaks, where was mine? Then I laughed so loud it sent echoes through the castle.

"Jane darling?" I called, still laughing.

"Yes Master?" Jane replied, appearing in front of me.

"Order me a new cloak. Have them put my name on it and outline it with gold. I want it as soon as possible." I wasn't able to wipe the smile off my face.

"Right away Master." Jane said, bowing her head and disappearing out the door. I couldn't believe I had left my cloak in Forks, Washington. Well, at least I was able to get this one customized. I really wanted my name on my cloak. When Bella joined, I would get her one with her name on it too. I would be getting my new cloak within the next twenty-four hours. I still couldn't stop smiling. As Alice had taught me, the future held endless possibilities.

Jasper POV

I was trying to come up with plans of action just in case Aro wouldn't let Bella go, but the only one I could think of was to offer another vampire in return for Bella. I didn't want to do that to somebody, but I would if it came down to it. There was always Benjamin, the earth mover. His coven leader and creator was keeping him a secret from Aro, but I knew of him because Peter and Charlotte had met him passing through Egypt a decade or so back. I was pondering this when my phone rang. It was to my ear in less than a second.

"Carlisle?" I asked.

"He let us go." Carlisle replied.

"That's good, because my ideas were no good." I replied with a laugh of relief. My sister was okay. "How is she Carlisle?"

"She is doing extremely well. We are on the plane home now." He answered calmly.

"You got a private plane? What did you say to get Bella to let you spend that kind of money?" I asked.

"We are on a Continental flight. I didn't have to buy a plane."

"Then where's Bella?" I said, shocked. She couldn't be on the plane. She was a newborn. There was no way she could be in such a small space with humans. I still had trouble on long flights because of it.

"I think it would be easier if you spoke to her yourself." Carlisle suggested.

"Hand her the phone." I replied. Suddenly Bella's voice came over the line.

"I've never had a conversation on one of these airplane phones before. I've never been to Maine either. Oh, and Carlisle says to meet us at the old house in Maine in twelve hours."

"Bella, how are you resisting?" I asked in a whisper. This was nothing I had seen before. She didn't sound like a newborn either. She sounded totally at ease, like Carlisle.

"Of course they all smell delicious, but for some reason it isn't hard at all to not to attack them." She replied in a voice far too low for any nearby humans to hear. Her control was frightening. I was used to dealing with newborns… this wasn't normal.

"If it wasn't for your voice Bella, I would have thought Carlisle missed when he tried to bite you." I said, with a slightly forced chuckle. This wasn't normal at all.

"You won't doubt Carlisle's precision when you see me." Bella replied with a laugh. "Well Jasper, Carlisle wants to speak with you. I'll see you soon. Tell Emmett and Rosalie hi for me."

"Bye Bella." I replied.

"Bye!" A second later, Carlisle's voice was again the one talking to me.

"Rosalie and possibly Emmett will remember the house in Maine. That was where Rosalie found Emmett in the woods. We moved to Alaska right after. Have Rosalie drive. Since we don't have Alice to play the stock market, our cash isn't so limitless. We can't be using the airline phone for long. I'll see you soon." His casual reference to Alice stunned me to silence for a moment, then I realized that he wasn't bothered by it because he believed she was in heaven and that we could see her again. Whether I agreed with that, I didn't know, but it was strangely comforting having Alice's name said out in the open. I finally composed myself enough to reply.

"We'll meet you there Carlisle." I replied. "Give Esme a hello for me. We'll see you in twelve hours." I hung up the phone and put it back into my left shoe. I was keeping it there now.

"Rosalie, we're going to the old house in Maine. Bella says hi to you and Emmett." I called to them in a normal conversation voice. They would hear me easily from upstairs. Emmett and Rosalie came flying down the stairs and out into the garage. I smiled and followed them out the door. I realized something then. I could do this. I could make it through my existence without Alice. It would, of course, be painful. That would never change. There was something else that would never change too though. I'd always have my family. With that thought in my mind, I got into the back seat of the Jeep. I was still smiling.


	11. Learning to live without you

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 10 ~ Learning to live without you_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

Bella's P.o.v

It hurt. Turning into a vampire, I mean. Waking up wasn't so bad, though. I mean everything was much clearer and I could see small dust particles that I never would have been able to see while human dance through the air. I sat up as slowly as I could and within seconds found myself in a defensive crouch, I had no idea of getting into as someone entered the room. Felix that was his name, at least I think it was. Slowly I raised myself out of my crouch as he motioned me to follow him. I didn't trust him but I followed him never the less. When he made no move to hurt me I relaxed slightly making sure to keep my own movements non threatening. The last thing I wanted was to be ripped apart before I had even lived as a vampire.

I entered a small chamber, Felix letting me enter before him before he closed the door and left me. The old me would have been frightened but I was now a vampire. Fear wasn't going to be an option for me anymore. Relaxing I turned my head as a young man was pushed into the room his begging for what sounded like mercy, touching me, but I was soo Thirsty. I wanted his blood, needed it. Rushing over to him, I slipped my arms around him and bit into his neck, his warm blood pouring from the wound I made into my mouth, and almost too eagerly, I drank. Pulling back once I was full, I was stunned to see that there was no blood covering me. More pleased by the fact that I wasn't a sloppy eater than being revolted that I drank from a human, I knocked on the door and smiled at Felix when he opened it.

"Aro now please"

_**~Dilemma~**_

My meeting with Aro went faster than I expected. I kept it simple, how I knew my own gift I had no idea but it did. Therefore, with a smile on my face I left with Carlise and Esme to return tour family. It seemed silly to catch a private plane back so I insisted on a commercial flight having a feeling that I was going to be ok. They didn't believe me and apparently neither did Jasper. Not that I blamed them. After all, I was a newborn and I wasn't behaving like one, at least not, from what I remembered.

Stepping off the plane once we reached Maine though was relief. I wanted nothing more than to run and see my brothers and my sister again. I knew Rosalie wouldn't be too happy with me but there was nothing either one of us could do now. I was a vampire and that was that. Looking over to Carlise and Esme I smiled as we started walking from the airport. Glad we had no luggage to worry about, the other three having it; I was content to allow them to lead me out into the twilight and towards the garage. Showing my confusion Carlise smiled understandingly.

"We'll start running from there but it needs to look like we're human Bella" Nodding to show in understood I followed them before waiting for Carlise to lead. We were going home.

_**~Dilemma~**_

Carlise's P.O.V

To say I was stunned was an understatement. Bella was holding herself so well, better than any of my other children had or other vampire's I had met over the many years I had been alive. Aro had been right to want her on his guard. She was beautiful as a vampire, the change enhancing all the features that made her beautiful as a human. She carried herself in a way that made me envious, and would no doubt bewilder the others. She was no normal newborn. But then again she had been a very special human to both us as a family and now as a vampire she was going to be the best that we could make her.

_**~Dilemma~**_

Bella's POV

The days were passing quickly now that I was back with my family again. Jasper, Rose, Emmet and I spent the days together and Carlise, Esme and I spent the evening hours making sure that everything was just right. We were doing ok, there was still a hole in the family where Edward and Alice would fill but we were doing better. Rose and I had come to an agreement of sorts we went shopping together for clothes and she even started talking about car shopping. Most days if I was alone with her I sat in the garage with her asking her to explain things that she was doing with the cars, remembering me doing the same with Jake during the time after my dark months.

Rose was nothing like Alice to me but it helped fill the gap that was there, and Esme had grown to be a second mother to me. Emmett had always been the big brother I never had, the type that would scare off boyfriends and threaten to beat up anyone that hurt me. The time I spent with Emmett was normally passed by testing my strength and getting me used to it. Jasper and I learned that we shared a love for history and reading in general and often the two of us would either be reading to each other or sitting together as we read.

_**~Dilemma~**_

Edwards room was still of limits to everyone and Jasper kept using the room he and Alice had shared no matter how much it hurt him to do so. Sometimes when everyone else was busy, I slipped into Edwards's room and touched the belongings. His classical music collection, his clothes in the closet, His scent became burned into my brain, all the little things he loved, and I loved about him sharpened in my mind. All I had left was memories and remembering something Renee once said to me, brought a smile to my face.

"_Sometimes the best way to let someone go is to take everything and touch it before parting from it forever."_ She had said it after my one grandmother died, as we were packing all her stuff up in boxes. She had sold everything she could, the rest of the stuff she burned. Feeling free I raced to the basement and grabbed boxes before starting to pack Edward's things away. One box was things I knew would sell, another was I wasn't to sure and the third was to burn. A small box was for what I wanted to keep.

All the classical c.d.'s minus a couple that I liked as well went into a box, all his clothes aside from a couple dress shirts and a t-shirt or two followed. Those would sell. Pausing to look at the clothing I had set aside, I smiled before folding them and placing them into my box. Looking around the room, I sighed before taking the posters off the wall and rolled them up, placing them in a box. I was sorting through the desk when I came across pictures. Dozens of them. Girls of every era stared up at me and on all of the backs, it said to Edward love followed by their name. Hands shaking with anger I dropped them all into the burn box before emptying the papers into it as well, followed by all the letters addressed to him from them. This wasn't the Edward I knew. To me he was going to remain the way I knew him, Loving me. Closing up the box's I carried them down the stairs, their side marked with what I wanted done. The rest of the family gathered around me concerned.

"Bell you ok? Your not going off into the deep end are you?" Emmet asked. Shaking my head, I giggled.

"Renee once told me that 'Sometimes the best way to let someone go is to take everything and touch it before parting from it forever' so that's what I'm doing with Edward. I got a box upstairs of a few things I want to keep but other than that, everything else is in these boxes. I can take his room now I think, make it my own, after all we are expecting the Delhi's right?" I said looking at them. Esme looked proud of me and I could almost see her itching to get out and start buying supplies for my room. Rose looked impressed and Emmett still looked a touch worried as did Carlise. Jasper too looked worried but I could tell that he was thinking over what I had said. I wanted us to heal and become a proper family again. Not living in the past.


	12. Dreaded News and Surprises

_~The Heart's Dilemma~_

_Chapter 11 ~ Dreaded News and Surprises_

_Thoughts_

**Yelling**

**A Year later**

Carlise P.o.v

Things had been progressing great. When I hunted with Bella she admitted to finding animal blood off in taste like rotten human food compared to her one taste of human blood. Knowing that she had a stronger ire than most newborns I assured her it became better tasting over time hoping I was proven right for the outright lie I was telling her. Sometimes I would catch Bella staring off into space before she refocused on what was going on around her. After her little episode with throwing all of Edwards things out she was better not as sad according to Jasper. Esme and she had redone the room and even Rose and Bella had become friends and gone shopping for both cars and clothes on a couple occasions. Every new house we went to Bella went through the process of cleaning Edwards's room and burning some of the belongings. Every time she did, her smile grew and a laugh of joy escaped her she was becoming free again. It was sweet to see and we respected her to have her peace with his death.

Bella P.o.v

Leaning back in my chair, I flipped the pages in a tome I was reading, and I say Tome meaning a giant ass book. This was a giant book about the civil war that had more than a passing mention of Jasper in it. The two of us had combed over every history book for more than a passing mention of him to try to see if the family line was still around. If it wasn't then Jasper had decided to go back to Whitlock and drop the Hale part of his name since it was really Rose's. He wanted to become his own person again and I noticed that Jasper was slowly but surely packing away Alice's things. Unlike Jasper, I found stuff on Edward I hadn't known, but he had known Alice for more years than I could count. Ok So I was being a little sarcastic but then again my humor was slowly morphing and becoming sick due to Emmett. Rose had made me considerably more girly over the months and at the same time, she let me be myself, something Alice never let me do. I Loved and missed Edward and Alice but at the same time I was glad I was able to be myself now.

_**~Dilemma~**_

I looked up as Jasper entered the room, and much to my amusement, he was distracted by the book in his hand that he didn't seem to notice me.

"howdy cowboy" I said calling upon the nickname I had given him one night when we were talking and his southern drawl was really pronounced. Jasper turned sharply and his glared at me before laughing as he straightened from the half crouch he had fallen into.

"Serves me right I guess for not paying attention. What are you up to today Bluebell?" Jasper said sitting on the other chair in the room by me a smile on his lips as he addressed me with his own nickname for me. He had heard Esme and me talking about flowers and he spent a couple hours pouring over gardening books before picking the flower he thought fit for me. I held up the book in my hands and smiled as I peeked around it.

"Ta-da! Page 4493 is the start of the history of Major J. Whitlock." I said happily before opening the book to the proper page and handing it to Jasper, his excitement projecting off him in a manor that caused me to giggle and get closer to read over his shoulder. I had already read it of course but I wanted to read it again. As Jasper and I read the pages, I could feel the smile growing on Jasper's lips.

"Bluebell, how can I ever repay you for finding this for me?" Jasper said as we finished the last page together.

"Don't? Simply enjoy it." I said as Jasper looked at me and analyzed my emotions.

"You bought me the book?" I nodded a smile growing on my lips.

"And the Whitlock house in Texas. It's yours Jasper." I said watching the disbelief spread over his face before I was wrapped in his arms and being given a hug that made me feel safe. Jasper had become my rock over time; he had taken care of me and watched over me. The others and I were close but not as close as Jasper and me. Pulling back, I ruffled his hair before leaving the room giving the Empath time to get used to the gift I had given him. Feeling empty, I decided to go on a hunt.

_**~Dilemma~**_

I preferred running to the actual hunt. I guess having that Human back in Italy ruined what I thought was going to be a smooth transition to a vegetarian diet. It tasted wrong to me and I wanted something that made me feel full. Deciding to run to work up more of an appetite, I raced along in the forest before pausing as I came across another vampire's scent. I slowed before scaling a tree and made my way over to where I caught the scent before watching my head tilted to the side. They were nomads, a rather large group of them, more than was safe to travel together. Pulling my shield around me, I cut off my scent and thoughts before listening in to their conversations.

"We need to go back to Maria. The redhead Victoria is a fool if she thinks the Volturi and the golden eyes will go down without a fight. Maria will rule if they will not her." The one said to the redhead among them her head turning to them and a sigh escaped her lips.

"I know that and the army will fall. I'll arrange for our troupe to be left out of the main fray. I'm hoping to find my sire the Major. He would know what to do better than I would." She admitted before turning her head and nodding to the body at their feet.

"Let's get rid of it then head home."

"Yes Bianca" the rest chorused as they started hiding the body. Waiting until they were out of sight, smell and hearing range before dropping to the ground. This was bad.

_**~Dilemma~**_

Jasper looked over at me as he drove towards the city wondering why I want to go to Italy to see Aro. Parking was easy and I grasped his hand before leading him into the building, his hands tightening on mine feeling my fear and determination.

Jasper P.o.v

I was a little confused as to why Bella wanted this but I went with her. I couldn't help but look over at her wondering if she was ok. Her emotions were chaotic at times and I was used to Bella being calm or happy emotions generally. Making our way into the throne room, I was met with the sight of the three brothers, and the feeling of Bella relaxing. She trusted them. I watched as Bella darted forward and touched her hand to Aro's her hand still in mine, seeking comfort. We waited calmly before she pulled back and came to stand fully beside me before Aro spoke.

"It seems Victoria has teamed up with Maria the Southern War Lord, and they plan on attacking the golden eyes and us here. Isabella came across a small group of them and listened in. The one in charge of the group Bianca was looking for her sire the Major." I Stilled. Bianca was still alive. I had turned her and Peter and I trained them to be efficient killers.

"Bianca has her own troupe, it was clear that they didn't want anything to do with this attack and she was planning on being left out so they could live. I'm under the assumption that Maria would trust her judgment." Bella said her head leaning on my shoulder as we stared up at them. Her fear made sense now. I pulled Bella closer wanting to protect her from the upcoming danger.

"Given what you just showed us Isabella, there's nothing we can do." Shock rolled through Bella, they were abandoning us.


End file.
